How Your Child Can Get Help During an Abduction

Most parents teach their children not to talk to strangers. However, during an abduction, the child must feel comfortable talking to strangers since a stranger can save a child's life.

Children can become easily confused. Trying to choose a good stranger over a bad one can be quite difficult for a young child because children basically trust everyone.

In an emergency, such as an abduction, the rules change. Your child must know and feel comfortable with this charge. During an abduction, the only stranger who is bad is the abductor. Everyone else is a possible rescuer or friend.

One very sad but true fact is that a lot of people will not get involved in an emergency and help someone in need. It would be terrible if your child were to free him or herself from an abductor and go to a stranger for help, only to be refused or not believed. Therefore, it is important to teach the child not only the right way to approach a stranger, but also, if possible, who the best strangers are to approach.

In a Store
Your child should first go behind any counter where there is an employee (the parent should show the child how to get behind the counter when ther’re in a store together). He or she should try to avoid empty counters. Tell the clerk, "Help, I've been kidnapped!" Grab the clerk around the leg and do not let go. Keep repeating, "Help, I've been kidnapped."

If going behind a counter is not possible, then your child should grab hold of the first person he or she can and hold tightly while telling him or her loudly, "Help, I've been kidnapped." In a restaurant your child can grab the waitress as she comes to the table. At a gas station, get into someone else's car.

Sometimes grabbing someone is not possible or does not work. Grown-ups don't always believe children. Remember what happened in the Jeffrey Dahmer case when one of his young victims escaped and asked two police officers for help. The young boy was bleeding and terrified, yet the police did not believe him and returned him to his abductor, who later dismembered the child.

When the child can't get help, he or she should run through the store, pulling merchandise off the shelves and letting it crash to the floor. An abducted child should keep doing this until someone restrains him or her. A child can also do this if an abductor is trying to drag him or her out of a public place. Pulling merchandise off the shelf will alert the manager, who could call the police or restrain the child.

Explain the following to your child: Vandalism is wrong under normal conditions. But when something wrong is happening to you, vandalism is acceptable and it may be your only chance to summon help. Vandalism alerts the management, other people and the police. These people are a great source of help to save you from harm. They will be mad when they see you making a mess, but they will be glad when they find out you were making the mess because you needed their help.

On the Street
If the child can get free of the abductor on the street, teach your child to run into and against the direction of pedestrians. The crowd acts as a natural obstacle for the abductor giving chase. Also, the child can move more easily and faster than most abductors in this environment. Teach the child to run into a store or any public place and use the attention-getting tactics mentioned in the previous section.

If there are not crowds, running the opposite direction of traffic can be effective, especially at night. The lights from the cars make it harder for the pursuer to see. Also, the cars moving past are a bit disorienting. In the daytime, running against traffic allows the faces of the abductor and child to be seen by the drivers.

Make sure you and your child understand that breaking free is only half of the battle. Finding a safe place and summoning help is the other half. Keep in mind the harder and longer the abductor has to pursue the child, the angrier he will become. If the child is caught, he most likely will not get a second chance to escape. Therefore, when fleeing and especially when summoning help, teach your child to do it aggressively. In this situation, shyness and politeness are your child's worst enemies.

Fire Alarms
Teach your child that it is okay to use a fire alarm to summon help during an abduction. Show him or her how to trip a fire alarm, where they are usually located on the street and in buildings. Teach your child to find a hiding place near the alarm and to stay there after pulling the alarm until the police or firefighters show up, then go to them.

Bus
While fleeing in public, getting on a bus is an excellent route of escape. Teach your child how to board a bus and summon help. Teach him or her how to recognize bus stops. If possible, he or she should find a hiding place near a bus stop, then wait there for a bus and run onto it when it stops.

Car Alarms
Car alarms are a great tool for drawing attention. Most car alarms can be set off by pulling on the door handle or bouncing against the car. While on the street, if the child can free him or herself from the abductor, he or she can pull on car door handles until the alarm goes off, then hide somewhere near the car and wait for help to arrive.

I.D. Bracelet
Have an identification bracelet made for your child. It can work on the wrist or around the ankle. The bracelet should be lightweight, similar to medical alert bracelets. On the back of the bracelet have the following information engraved: name, telephone number including the area code, and "missing child, reward."

This bracelet can be left or dropped anywhere by the child, such as in a restaurant, grocery store, or even thrown out a vehicle at someone. The bracelet technique is best used when the child and abductor get to a house where it appears they are going to stay for a night or so. In this case, your child should drop the bracelet outside before going in. Or, if it appears that they are not going to stop, the child should drop the bracelet somewhere on the second day of the abduction, preferably in a populated area like a city street.

In any case, the bracelet drop should only be used after several hours into the abduction. If found and reported, this provides the police with a direction of flight. If someone finds the bracelet and calls you, make sure you get the following information:

• Exactly where it was found, city, state and address
• The name, phone number and address of the person who found the bracelet
• Time and date of the finding
• Offer the caller a one hundred dollar reward to be paid only after the police have received the bracelet

It would be a good idea to put a special mark somewhere on the bracelet so you can verify its authenticity.